But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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