I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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