He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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