sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Success! We fucked roommates!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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