my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
