Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
