My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize