Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
