watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
