It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
