It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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