I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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