Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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