I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
