so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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