Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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