Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
