After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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