you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
