They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
