I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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