clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
