you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
