I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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