so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
