Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
