Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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