I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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