I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
