Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
