He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
