You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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