She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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