my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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