you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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