my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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