he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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