Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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