Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't think brook has ever known best
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
