And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
