I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
