We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
