So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
