Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
