We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
