So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
