You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize