I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
