Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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