When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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