This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
