Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
