i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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