I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
