I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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