im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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