you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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