Sry I called you an 8
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
