yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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