xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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