If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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