doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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