I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
