How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
