I think i peed on brittanys purse
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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