And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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