Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
