R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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