How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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